


66. Dangerous Territory

by djchika



Series: In the Waiting [4]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djchika/pseuds/djchika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris’ reaction to finding out that Darren is in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	66. Dangerous Territory

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted January 16, 2013
> 
> Part of My Crisscolfer 100 Ficlet (Drabble) Challenge

_Flash._

_Pop._

_Smile._

_Turn._

_This way, Chris!_

_Straight ahead!_

_To your right!_

Chris blinked and worked to keep his smile natural. The lights of the cameras blinded him and made his eyes water, but Alla and Erica had spent days training him for events like these where the red carpet photo ops and interviews were almost as important as the event itself.

_"Don't smile to wide, you'll tire easily."_

_“Keep it natural. There’s nothing worse than a fixed smile and a hollow gaze.”_

_“A bad picture could be gossip fodder for weeks.”_

Especially if it was a picture of a gay actor looking shaken after arriving at an event with his on-screen love interest.

Chris made his way slowly towards the other end of the carpet, stopping where he was directed and making sure to keep the interviews short and light. A sound bite here, a pre-fed piece of information there, a coy answer interjected in between, and soon he was back on the carpet and walking towards the massive ballroom.

“That was good,” Alla said beside him. “Do you want to get a drink before going to your table?”

Chris nodded and they both made a beeline towards the bar. There were still cameras everywhere, celebrities and their teams making small talk with each other, but none of them seemed to have noticed Chris and Alla and Alla didn’t seem to be in a hurry to start mingling. Chris let the darkness conceal him hoping that he can stay far away from the bright lights of the stage for as long as Alla would allow.

Alla handed him a flute of champagne and he took a sip of it without tasting the bubbly liquid. All of his senses had focused on the fact that Darren was in the ballroom, having finished his own walk down the carpet.

Instinctively, Chris took a step back, hoping that the darkened area of the bar would hide him from sight, but the pull that existed between them led Darren to Chris easily. From ten feet away, Darren caught his gaze and the vulnerability in his eyes made Chris want to cry.

He forced himself to tear his eyes away and bent low to whisper to Alla, ”Can you make sure Darren and I are on different cars when we go back to the hotel?”

“It’s already been arranged. I made sure of it myself,” Alla replied. She was still obviously pissed about the mix-up with the cars that it took her a second to ask, “Did something happen?”

Chris didn’t say anything, instead he gave Alla a shake of his head.

“Chris, as your publicist. I’m asking, is there anything I need to know tonight so that I can stop it from ending up in tomorrow’s papers?” Alla’s  voice was firm and no nonsense. One he had heard her use with her more difficult clients, but never with Chris.

“No,” Chris replied honestly, “you have nothing to worry about.”                                

“Good,” Alla said, taking his word for it. She turned to him and asked quietly, “Now, as your friend, are you okay?”

He took another sip of his champagne, wishing that it was a bottle of tequila instead.

“No.”

Chris wondered if she would press the issue. Alla had become more friend than publicist, but there were still some things that he wasn’t as quick to share with her. She allowed him his privacy, requested information only on a need to know basis, but it was tricky to know which parts of his life needed to be managed and which were completely his own.

“Okay,” Alla said finally. “E! wants a quick interview once the program ends and then we can leave.”

“Thank you.”

The overhead lights flickered, signaling that the program was about to start. Chris emptied his glass before placing it on the bar and walking towards his table, silently praying that no one had mixed up the seating cards.

He slid into his chair and quickly started a conversation with the person next to him, not looking up when Darren approached the table and took a seat two chairs away from him. Chris ignored the glances that Darren was throwing his way and kept a steady stream of chatter until the hosts appeared on stage.

Chris, smiled and clapped, mindful of the cameras documenting the event, but none of the performances registered with him. His mind kept wandering towards Darren, even while his eyes refused to look in the same direction.

The shock of what happened in the car had turned into an unsettling confusion. He remembered their eyes locking, remembered as he struggled to breath under Darren's unrelenting gaze. Not pushing, not demanding, not asking for anything in return, other than to simply exist.

In them Chris read,  _please let me love you. Please don't run away. Please, please, please._

Chris was careful with the men in his life. Men had come and gone, but he had never allowed any of them to stay, had always kept them at an arm’s length knowing full well that love would add another layer of insanity in what was already a complicated situation. Darren was supposed to be different. Darren was supposed to be his friend. Not this. Never this.

(And if it was Darren that he sought in his darkest times, Darren who crossed his mind in every moment worth sharing, who made Chris feel warm and safe within the chaos of their daily lives, well, Darren was his friend, after all.)

It was anger that coursed through him now. Anger at the thought of Darren possibly ruining the friendship that they had, because what did he expect, really? That they would be allowed to date? That they would be allowed the same level of acceptance that Lea and Cory had been grateful to have?

The singer on stage ended her set and Chris blinked away angry tears.

“I’m the same,” the guy next to him whispered, “she never fails to move me to tears.”

Chris whispered back a statement of token admiration, not even sure what the singer’s name was. The hosts wrapped up the program and Chris was out of his seat like a shot, offering a polite but quick goodbye to the people in his table.

He headed to the backstage area, Alla and Tom beside him in an instant.

“They’re going to ask you questions about Glee,” she briefed him quickly. “they’ll also be asking about your upcoming projects so now would be a perfect time to mention your new screenplay.”

Chris nodded and followed a PA to one of the couches. He sat with his back straight, shoulders tense as the make-up girl approached him and started his touch-ups.

Alla sidled up to him. “Chris?” she asked, a worried frown on her face.

“I’m fine,” Chris replied instantly, smiling at the make-up girl when she finished.

“Then act like it,” Alla whispered to him pointedly, before moving away and standing to the side.

Chris took a deep breath and forced his muscled to relax, letting the back of the couch support his weight.

The interview passed in a blur and soon he was back in his hotel, a can of diet coke spiked with vodka on the bedside table as the muted TV played in the background. He pulled out his cellphone and thumbed through his contacts until he reached an often used number.

Ashley picked up on the first ring.

“He’s in love with me, Ash,” Chris said, not even bothering to say hello.

“Oh, baby, we’ve all known that for a long time.”

It hit Chris that Ashley didn’t even need to ask who he was talking about, it was obvious to her. It seemed like it had been obvious to everybody, except for him.

He thought of the times when the cast had teased had them about it. He thought of the times that Darren had easily admitted his love for Chris and Chris had done the same. It was a game. A harmless flirtation. Chris had never read anything more into it until Ashley had brought it up a few months ago.

Chris had laughed it off, told her she was delusional and that she should probably get her head checked. Ashley had smacked him but didn’t comment further.

He didn’t tell her how his dreams had been dominated by visions of a curly haired-boy, of eyes that knew him forwards and backwards, of a smile full of light and promise, and in the morning he would put away the parts he remembered and locked them in a box meant for too many things unsaid.

“What am I going to do?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Ashley’s answer made Chris down his drink in one go.

“Be honest.”


End file.
